Bittersweet Catastrophe (Second Chances #2.5) Read online

  My lips glided along her neck, drinking her in, memorizing the way she tasted. “I just hate knowing there’s the slightest possibility that I could wake up tomorrow and this could all be gone. You. The babies…” I closed my eyes and buried my face in her hair, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill free. “I can’t lose you, Liberty. I can’t. Living without you just isn’t an option.”

  Her eyes glistened with fresh tears, and I lifted her hand up to my mouth, casually brushing my lips across her knuckles. “The day that fire inside you burns out, my flame will extinguish right along with you…because I can’t live in a world where you don’t exist.”

  Liberty trembled in my arms with her head hung low, and she cried unabashedly. I slipped my finger beneath her chin as tiny droplets continued to rain down between us, tilting her head back so I could look deep into her eyes and find something, anything at all, to let me know that I wasn’t crazy for feeling this way; that this fear of losing her wasn’t unwarranted. But I didn’t have to look very long, because it was plain to see that she was just as scared and lost as I was. She’d done a pretty good job of keeping her emotions under wraps up until then, but once she realized that it had finally hit me that I could lose all three of them, her emotions let loose, and the walls that had so safely built up around her came crumbling down.

  “Shhh, it’s okay, baby. I got you.” I rocked her in my lap, running my hand down her hair. “I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise. It’s going to take a lot more than cancer to tear us apart, all right?”

  “But y-your mother… She…” Her words trailed off.

  “I know, baby, I know, but when she was diagnosed, it was already too late. It had spread to her lymph nodes, lungs, liver…” I kissed her tear-stained lips and leaned my forehead against her. “Let’s not talk about that now. Like the doctor said, we’ll worry about it when we know for sure what we’re dealing with. For all we know, it could be nothing at all. It could be, I dunno…a bad bout of gas.”

  Finally, a hint of a smile.

  “Shayne, why is it every time there’s something wrong with me, you blame it on gas?” She laughed softly as I swept my thumbs beneath her eyes. Even through the tears and blood-shot eyes, she was still so fucking beautiful.

  “Babe, you have to admit, nine times out of ten, it’s gas. Remember the other night when you weren’t feeling well because you devoured a pint of ice cream before bed, and I almost ended up sleeping on the couch because you stunk up the room so bad?”

  She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, biting back her laughter. “Which night?”

  I tugged it free, kissed her swollen red lips, and whispered, “My point exactly.”

  She chuckled softly and leaned her head against mine. “Thank you, baby. I know you’re only trying to distract me and take my mind off of everything, so thank you. I don’t want everyone else to see me fall apart over this, and I need my head to be clear for Iris’s birthday party tomorrow.”

  “Damn, that’s tomorrow?”

  “Yes, and we promised we would go, so no trying to weasel your way out of this one.”

  “Are you sure I can’t change your mind?” I waggled my eyebrows. “I can be quite persuasive, in case you haven’t noticed.”

  “Shayne…”

  “All right, all right.” I held my hands up in surrender. “I’ll keep my persuasion to a minimum…at least until we get home tomorrow.”

  “I have faith in you.” She leaned in to kiss me, and I slipped my hand behind her neck, beckoning her closer. Her lips tasted so sweet….so damn sweet…and mixed with the saltiness of tears left behind, my mind was reeling with raw emotion. When we finally broke apart, she licked her lips and smiled. “If you’re still having trouble keeping Shayne Jr. under control, just do what you always do…picture your grandma naked.”

  I shuddered as the image popped into my head. Well played.

  “You play dirty, woman.” I shook my head, reaching behind me as I slipped my shirt off over my head, and then waved my hand in front of me. “Now you’re not getting any of this tomorrow.”

  “We’ll see about that.” She giggled softly before cuddling up against my bare chest and traced over the portrait tattoo of my mother. My heart pounded rampantly beneath her fingers, and I prayed that God would spare her life, spare her a fate that claimed the life of my mother far too soon. “I love you, Shayne,” she whispered drowsily as she yawned.

  “Love you more, sweetheart.” I pressed my lips against her temple and settled down against the pillows, pulling the blanket up over us. “Always will.”

  I couldn’t help but hold her a little closer that night, with her warm body sculpted around mine and her chest rising and falling as life continued to flow through her veins. Soon, her breathing evened out, and the tiny wisps of air that tickled my chest let me know she was fast asleep. But I knew there would be no rest for me tonight. I looked down at my beautiful wife, brushing a few stray hairs out of her face, and my heart ached, knowing that the future we had planned together could disappear in a heartbeat. ‘Whens’ quickly became ‘ifs’, and visions of us holding our children in our arms, dropping them off for their first day of school, watching them graduate, get married, have children of their own…suddenly disappeared.

  Three simple words could take that all away from me.

  I only hoped we weren’t too late.

  “Babe, did you remember the gift?”

  I walked around to the passenger side of the Jeep where Liberty was waiting patiently with a plate full of homemade cheesecake brownies that smelled out of this world. She’d just pulled them out of the oven minutes ago, which would explain why we were running close to an hour late for the party; the other reason being that she couldn’t decide between wearing heels or flats. Heels or fucking flats? Now that right there was a prime example of why men will never understand women. A simple decision suddenly became a matter of life or death, and she was nearly doubled-over in tears because of the damn shoes. I offered to save her the trouble of deciding and carry her over my shoulder for the rest of the day, but she didn’t find that quite as amusing as I had hoped and ended up going with the flats. Either way, it finally got us out of the house, and not a moment too soon. Thank Christ.

  I opened the door, taking the plate from her as I helped her up into the seat, and she leaned forward to give me a quick peck on the lips. “Yes, and I had it wrapped at the store, so we’re all good to go.”

  Looking back at the massive box in the back seat, I wondered how the hell she even managed to get that in the cart, let alone in the car.

  “Jesus, did you buy her the whole damn store?” I started backing out of the driveway and quickly glanced over at her.

  “No, it’s a princess playhouse! It was the first thing listed on the gift registry, and seeing as I’m Iris’s godmother, I can’t cheap out on her gift.”

  Seriously?

  “Who the hell has a gift registry for a kid’s first birthday anyway? That’s insane.”

  Liberty’s laughter filled the space around us, and she placed her hand on my thigh. “Shayne…this is Maddie’s kid we’re talking about. Would you expect any less from her?”

  “Point taken.” I brought her hand up to my lips and smiled warmly at her.

  A few quiet moments passed between us as we made our way to Maddie and Hunter’s house, but I was desperate to break the silence. We’d been tiptoeing around one another since this morning, neither one of us wanting to bring up the dreadful ‘c’ word, but I had to know that she was all right. I had to know she wasn’t keeping everything bottled up inside for my benefit.

  As I pulled up to a red light, I reached over and tenderly brushed my thumb along the delicate contours of her jaw. “How are you feeling, babe?”

  Her expression softened, but she still managed to crack a smile. “Considering I haven’t puked my brains out in almost five days, and I was able to keep my breakfast down this morning, I’d say I’m feel
ing pretty good.” She rubbed her stomach absentmindedly. “If being overtired is the worst thing I have to deal with throughout the rest of this pregnancy, I’ll gladly take it.”

  There she was, skirting around it again. “You know what I meant.”

  “I’m fine.” Her smile slipped away, and she turned to look out the window. “Really. Can we please not do this right now?”

  I gazed over at her just before the light turned green and caught her picking at her cuticles, a nervous habit she’s picked up from me. “I’m sorry. I just worry about you. Wouldn’t be a very good husband if I didn’t, now would I?”

  “I know that, Shayne, and I appreciate your concern. Really, though, when I say I’m fine, I am. You need to stop worrying about me so much.”

  If only it were that easy. Like asking me not to breathe the same air she breathed, or hear her sweet voice every morning when I woke up and every night before I’d fall asleep…not worrying about her just wasn’t possible. I needed her. I needed her to be okay, and until we knew for sure, I wasn’t letting this go.

  I dropped the subject for the time being and kept my eyes glued to the road until we pulled up to Maddie’s house a few minutes later. Liberty swung her door open and hopped down from the Jeep just as I was shifting into park. Stubborn-ass woman couldn’t even wait ten seconds for me, and while she stormed off toward the gate that led to the backyard, I was left to grab the behemoth gift from the backseat. I managed to lug it over to where the rest of the ornately wrapped gifts were and turned to find Liberty eyeing up the dessert table.

  “Here, let me get that for you.”

  I reached out, offering to take the plate of brownies from her, just as she bit out, “I got it.”

  Setting it down with a scowl on her face, I moved behind her with the front of my body pressed up against her back and caged her in between my arms. Pregnant or not, I wasn’t going to let her get away with that little tantrum so easily, and unless she wanted to make a scene in front of everyone, it was probably best if we hashed this out here and now.

  I swept her hair from one shoulder to the other and ghosted my lips along her neck, whispering softly in her ear, “Are you done acting like a stubborn brat?” My hands gravitated to her hips, but the second I touched her, her body when rigid beneath my fingers.

  “I don’t know. Are you done treating me like I’m made of glass?”

  What the hell is she going on about? I spun her in my arms until she was facing me, and though bitterness seeped through her words, the expression on her face hinted toward something else entirely. Tears welled in her doe-like eyes, and her bottom lip began to tremble, causing my heart to sink to the pit of my stomach.

  “Jesus, Liberty, is that what you think I’m doing?” My arms tightened around her waist, and I pulled her flush against my chest, tucking her head beneath my chin. As I brushed my hand over her hair, she gradually eased into my arms. “Baby, look at me.” I tilted her head back so that I could gaze into her eyes and make sure she understood exactly where I was coming from. “I’m sorry that I worry about you so much, but you have to know by now that it’s just in my nature. I’m your husband. You’re a part of me now.” I placed my hand over her barely there belly and smiled. “And I’m a part of you. If you think this is bad, just wait until the babies get here. I’m never letting the three of you out of my sight. Hell, I should probably start buying stock in Rogaine or hair plugs, because at this rate, I’m sure I’ll be bald by the time I’m thirty.”

  Liberty giggled softly and leaned her head against my chest, the laughter vibrating throughout my entire body and filling my heart with an infinite amount of love for her. “I know the real reason you are concerned about me, and it’s okay to worry, but I don’t want to be constantly reminded that I might be sick. I want just one day where I can let all of the fear and uncertainties go. Can we ignore it just for one day? Pretend as though nothing is wrong?” Her gaze drove into me with such intensity and determination, how could I have possibly said no? “Please?”

  “All right.” I nodded in agreement. “I can’t guarantee I’ll be able to ignore the massive elephant in the room, but I’ll try my best to keep my worrisome thoughts to myself.” For now.

  “Good…because after dinner, I want to announce that we’re expecting. I think it’s best if they all find out before I start showing.”

  Wait…what?

  “Are you sure about that?” I was a bit taken aback by her eagerness, and quite frankly I thought it was a horrible idea. “What if…” Fuck. I couldn’t say it. I refused to even think it about, about the possibility of losing her. To me, it wasn’t a possibility. Instead, I tugged at the ends of my hair, hoping it would never come down to that.

  “Shayne, what did I say?” She made a lip-zipping gesture with her fingers. “I want to celebrate our pregnancy. If it turns out that I do have cancer, we’ll deal with it then, but for now, I want everyone else to share in our happiness. Because I am happy.” She leaned her head to the side, studying the pained expression on my face. “Aren’t you?”

  “Of course I’m happy. You know that.” Running my fingers through her soft hair, I struggled to force the corners of my mouth to turn up. “I’m just–”

  “Worried.” She placed her fingers over my mouth, shutting me up. “I know. Just not today, okay? I’m giving you the day off.” She smirked, trying to lighten up the mood, but all I could manage in response was a somber smile.

  Maddie popped up behind us and rubbed Liberty’s back, sensing that something was wrong. I guess we hadn’t been very subtle upon our arrival, and Maddie was quick to pick up on it. “Hey guys, is everything all right?”

  Looking down at my beautiful wife, I swept my thumbs beneath her eyes and gave her a simple nod before leaning down to kiss her sweet lips. She turned back to Maddie, a beaming smile spreading across her face. “Everything’s perfect. I’m just feeling a little emotional, that’s all.”

  “Funny, I remember saying the same thing not too long ago.” Maddie laughed, pulling her in for a tight hug. “You guys made it just in time, too. I think Hunter is almost finished grilling up the hot dogs and burgers.”

  “Good, ‘cause I’m starving.” Liberty patted her tummy, kept hidden beneath her loose-fitting lavender top.

  We said a quick hello to Hunter before he pulled Maddie away, and then made our way over to a shady spot under the tree. Maddie’s friend and former roommate, Robbie, was chasing Iris around their backyard with his boyfriend, Lance, and Maddie’s brother, Brett, in tow. I caught Liberty glancing over his way, and the elated smile on her face had softened.

  Her and Brett had gone out to lunch the week before, and although I still felt guarded about them spending time alone together, seeing the casual way she looked at him now reassured me that their relationship really was nothing more than that of friends. She’d made it known when we first got together that he meant a great deal to her, and I wasn’t about to pull a dickhead move and keep her from seeing him. Don’t get me wrong. I wanted to. It was him I didn’t trust, not the other way around.

  However, that didn’t stop me from possessively wrapping my arm around her shoulder and nodding in his direction.

  The grin on Brett’s face faltered the second he laid eyes on me, and I knew he received my silent message loud and clear. Turning back to Liberty, I was glad to find that she was too busy watching Iris giggle as she tackled Robbie to the ground to notice the exchange between Brett and myself. No need to add fuel to the fire.

  Robbie approached us with Iris hanging upside-down over his shoulder, and I could hear her laughing behind him. “Hey, guys! Glad you could make it! Have you seen a little girl about yay high,” he gestured with his hands, “with golden blonde hair running around and causing mayhem? I swear she was just here a second ago.” He looked from side to side and spun around, causing a wave of blonde curls to blow around her face.

  Iris couldn’t contain her laughter and pounded on his back. “Here!”


  “Did you hear that?” He smiled and winked at Liberty.

  “Hmm, I dunno about a blonde-haired girl, but I think you might have a monkey on your back.” Liberty lifted her off of Robbie’s shoulder and tickled her ribs until she was nearly out of breath from laughing so hard. “There she is!”

  “Iberty! Party!” She squealed in delight and flailed her arms out to her sides.

  “That’s right. We’re here for your party.” She propped her up on her hip and kissed her forehead. God, she looked so damn good with a baby in her arms. If she weren’t pregnant already, I’d take her back out to the car and knock her up all over again. “Are you having fun? Is Uncle Robbie playing nice?”

  “Unkie Wobbie.” She pointed to him. “Cown.”

  Low and behold, he was in fact wearing a pink bejeweled crown on his head, and I was sensing a bit of irony here. “Don’t you think you’re taking this whole ‘queen’ title a bit too far?”

  “Hey now, Big Papa,” Robbie drawled, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. He brushed his fingers through the hairs at the nape of my neck, and I jerked my head to the side. Come on, man. Really? I wasn’t a homophobe by any means, but I didn’t exactly enjoy being felt up by another man either. And did he just call me Big Papa?! “Don’t be hatin’ on my impeccable fashion sense. I think the pink brings out the blue in my eyes. Wouldn’t you agree?”

  “More like the diva in you.” I chuckled under my breath. “And what’s with calling me Big Papa? ‘Cause if you think you can convert me by complimenting the big man downstairs…”

  “Oh please, if we needed another batter for our team, I would’ve brought out the big guns.” I deadpanned, wondering what he meant by that, and he threw his head back laughing. “I’m talking about the bun in the oven, Big Papa! I’m right, am I not?” He waggled his eyebrows.

  “How...how the hell do you do that?”

  “It’s a gift.” He fogged up his nails and brushed them against his shirt. With that crown on top of his head, he looked so fucking ridiculous, but I had to laugh. “I might not use my equipment to create an army of mini-mes, but I know a pregnant woman when I see one. “